Anxiety + Perfectionism
Anxiety is an innate, human, and normal response to a perceived threat. Anxiety is a necessary biological response we humans need to keep us safe. It can sometimes even motivate us. Normal levels of anxiety help us problem solve or manage a situation when something goes wrong. Other times, our anxiety misfires and perceives a threatening situation when there isn't one. Persistent, misfired anxiety tends to be future oriented (What if this happens? What if that happens? What will people think?) and feels as though you are constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Anxiety + perfectionism often go hand in hand.
- Feel anxious and distressed when your expectations are not met?
- Criticize yourself? Engage in self-judgment and negative talk when things don't go according to plan?
- Fear or experience discomfort with uncertainty?
In order to deal with anxiety, some people might try to control their behaviors or their environment by setting high and unrealistic expectations. They think, "If I can do X perfectly, then I can avoid Y." In the process of avoiding "Y," perfectionists often overwork themselves, are stressed, and their relationships suffer.
The real work lies in challenging both one's high standards and critical thoughts, understanding what fuel perfectionism, and facing what is underneath their perfectionism shield.
Is Anxiety + Perfectionism showing up in your social life?
- Fear being embarrassed, humiliated, rejected, or looked down upon in social interactions?
- Overly watch, prepare, and rehearse what you are going to say to others?
- Ruminate on making mistakes, especially in social settings?
- Avoid social interactions with others?
There is a high correlation between perfectionism and social anxiety. Social anxiety can cause significant distress to one's daily functioning and social relationships. Trying to appear put together on the outside while attempting to avoid criticism may hinder real authentic connection with others, and even with ourselves. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable as a means to connect with others, your humanness can be seen and you are likely to be more relatable to others.
As your coach, we will work together to find out what is driving your anxiety and work towards overcoming social anxiety and perfectionism together. I will help you make sense of your anxiety by helping you become intimately aware of how your mind works. We will look at the inner critic that is stifling your self confidence and counteract that critic with a realistic and compassionate voice. Together we will practice concrete tools and strategies to help you manage your anxiety so you can finally embrace you at your core and stop letting anxiety and perfectionism deprive you of happiness!